You’re Fine - Medical Gaslighting At Its Best

Wounded warrior making their way towards healing at TLC

"You’re Fine": The Invisible Wound of Medical Gaslighting—and the Journey Back to Yourself

Imagine waking up every day knowing something is deeply wrong in your body. You're not imagining it. You’re not making it up. You feel it in your bones, your brain, your gut, your soul. Yet, every white coat you turn to looks at your labs and tells you: “You’re fine.”

This is the trauma that so many of my patients carry when they first walk through the doors of The Lyday Center. And I want to speak directly to you—because your story matters.

The Loneliness of the Mystery Illness

You start with hope. Maybe it’s fatigue you can’t shake. Pain that seems to travel without a pattern. Brain fog that makes you forget simple words. So you see your primary care doctor. They order tests. Everything comes back “normal.”

So you're sent to a specialist. Then another. And another. Rheumatology. Neurology. Gastroenterology. Each one slices off a piece of your suffering and evaluates it in isolation. When they can’t find an answer, the subtle insinuations begin: “Are you under a lot of stress?” or “Maybe this is anxiety or depression?”

Eventually, the referrals stop being medical. You’re sent to a psychiatrist. And suddenly, you’re no longer a patient—they treat you like a case study.

This cycle is not only exhausting—it’s traumatic.

Medical PTSD Is Real

The term medical PTSD is becoming more recognized, and for good reason. When you are repeatedly told that your pain isn’t real, that your symptoms don’t exist, or that you’re the problem, it chips away at your sense of self. You begin to doubt your own perception of reality. You begin to wonder: Is it all in my head?

But here’s the truth: it was never in your head.

The gaslighting, the dismissal, the lack of advocacy—it leaves a wound that goes beyond the physical. And that trauma follows you, even when you finally find someone who believes you.

The Exhaustion of the Journey

By the time many patients find their way to functional or integrative medicine, they are exhausted. Not just physically, but emotionally, financially, spiritually. Years of chasing answers with no roadmap, paying out of pocket, trying therapies that only half-worked, and carrying the invisible grief of a life paused—these take their toll.

Some show up skeptical. Some show up barely hanging on. And some arrive quietly hopeful, afraid to hope too much.

Wherever you are on that journey, I see you.

The Turning Point: When Validation Meets Healing

Healing begins with being believed.

In our work together, we look at the whole picture—not just your labs, but your story. We dive into the root causes: mold toxicity, chronic infections, environmental exposures, nervous system dysregulation, trauma. We recognize that mystery illnesses aren’t mysteries at all when viewed through the right lens.

But we also honor your lived experience. Because to truly heal, we must also tend to the invisible wounds left by the medical system.

A New Narrative

To those who have been told “there’s nothing wrong,” I say: There is something very right about your persistence.

To those who were sent to psychiatry instead of pathology: You deserved better.

To those who are weary and wondering if healing is even possible: Yes, it is.

You’ve fought a battle that few understand. You’ve held onto hope when the system gave you none. And now, you’ve found your way to a path that honors the complexity of your experience and your biology.

Let’s Rewrite the Ending

Your story isn’t over. It’s just beginning a new chapter—one where you’re not dismissed, but listened to. Not pathologized, but partnered with. Not ignored, but empowered.

You are not broken. You are healing.

And I am honored to walk this path with you.

With deep respect and hope,
Dr. Tamara Lyday
The Lyday Center for Whole Person Healing